What Doesn't Kill You...Makes You Crazy!

If ever I needed a vacation, the time was now. Two weeks prior to leaving it had been really stressful as there have been some issues surrounding my housing and I’ve been training the new English teacher that my school hired. The new teacher (Summer) has been great and has adjusted well…it just made my schedule quite busy. The main stresser was whether or not we would have to move. I desperately didn’t want to have to change housing for the 5^th(!!) time. Luckily an arrangement was made that satisfied all parties involved. The two days leading up to my time off were about enough to put me over the edge. I had to attend the opening ceremony at one of my school locations. Which is all fine except that I will no longer be teaching there, the new English teacher is taking over that site. And I traveled 2 hours there and back by train for literally a 5 minute speech that I had to give. We made it there without any issues and I did my little spiel and we finished by noon. Great. Now I had 2 and a half hours to kill before my scheduled train.

 One thing (among so many) that is super annoying about train travel is that if you book in advance online, you cannot make any changes. Someone else had booked this ticket for me and I couldn’t change it to come back to Calicut any sooner. And I have searched multiple times for any building, restaurant or coffee shop in this city that has a place to chill in the AC and have yet to find one. It’s like it doesn’t exist in Kannur! I did find a nicer restaurant to eat lunch at that wasn’t far from the school and it was great food, but still sweating like crazy for hours makes me grumpy. So I headed to the train station around 2 and decided to just wait. The guy I had come with in the morning from my school had gotten a train back at 1:30 and I was irritated that I wasn’t on that same train. So I sit on the platform that I always sit at when I head back to Calicut and a train is there waiting but it doesn’t have the same 5 numbers as my train ticket so I think it must be the next one. Well it was still sitting there at 2:29 and my train was meant to leave at 2:35 so I wonder if maybe just maybe, my ticket is off by one number. The train I needed was 12306 and the train sitting in front of me was 12305. It felt sort of like the power ball…Ok, first number. 1, Got it! Second number 2, Yes! Third number 3, ok, keep going! Fourth number 0, almost there!!! Fifth number 5. Oh man, so close! So I ask the platform attendant guy that has a roster of the trains if maybe this indeed was my train and he barely acknowledges me, doesn’t look at my ticket and says to get on, that this is my train. So I follow instructions and climb the train just as it starts to leave the platform. Not 2 seconds later, he chases me down the track and says, “No, not train. Next one!” He motions me off the train and we are rapidly picking up speed and I’m thinking, “Sheesh man, I’m not Dauntless here!” I don’t jump off moving trains.

So I hastily climb down and try to safely make it off without falling and he assures me over and over again that mine is the next train. I asked him if I need to wait here and he emphatically tells me yes. Well, I’m sure you know what must be coming. Another train never arrived. I sat there until 3:15 and got more irritated with each passing second. I decide something must be wrong so I cross back to the main platform and ask a station master if my train is just really late or what is happening. He looks at my ticket with a smug expression and smirks as he says, “This train gone.” My face went ashen as I explain that there’s no way that can be possible because I’ve been on that platform since 2 o’clock. He says, “That train went from platform 1.” I have an insane amount of difficulty controlling my emotion and he must see my face drop and then very condescendingly says to me, “You..very tired huh?” Never in all my life have I wanted to punch someone in the face more than I have in that moment. I say with tight lips, “I have to get back to Calicut. What do I do now?” He tells me that I have to go and purchase a new train ticket for the one leaving at 3:40, and motions to the line that’s about 20 people long. I am literally shaking with anger at this point and I leave without saying another word to him. I get in line and I’m inwardly swearing for all these people to hurry the **** up! It’s 3:25 at this point and I am not about to miss the next train. I finally make it, shell out another $10 equivalent of rupees and run to platform 3. I get on the train and slowly start to cool down, both physically and emotionally. The other reason I was so ticked off was because I had promised my new friend (Summer) that we would go get pedicures and have dinner to celebrate her birthday and I felt awful that I was so late and we had to cancel part of our plans.

We met at the beach and managed to salvage the day with a few beers and retelling stories of our days. It was a great evening overall because we had a long discussion about our families, our beliefs, our travels and just bonding over learning to cope in Calicut. I thought I was in the clear…but then the frustrations came on strong again the next morning.

I was woken up early (the third day in a row) by someone from the school asking me about Summer’s schedule and I was like “She has a flipping phone! Call her and stop waking me up!” So since I was up, I decided to do laundry and run our water pump since I knew I was leaving the next day and needed to pack. So I go downstairs and start all that, come back and make breakfast and just as I’m about to bite into my toast, I hear and see water dripping down from upstairs. I race down to the side house to shut off the pump and then race up the 4 flights of stairs to check and see what is happening.

The entire fourth floor is flooded and overflowing to the lower levels. I have no idea why and I race back downstairs to see that it’s swiftly flooding my apartment, so I put a bucket under the dripping water and go back upstairs to see if I can figure out what happened. Still can’t tell so I call my landlord who is also my good friend and of course, he has just left Calicut to check on another property in another state and he’s in the middle of nowhere with bad reception. So we could only whatsapp message each other as I tried to explain the problem. At this point, I’m running late for work and call and let them know, arrange for my driver to come late and go back to my apt to mop up the floor. I am sweating bullets when I finish from running up and down and mopping and climb in the shower only to discover to my horror that there’s absolutely no water. I literally start screaming in my bathroom as I am disgusting and need to be at work ASAP!

 Meanwhile Summer is upstairs and didn’t have water damage because her apartment sits further back. She’s ready to leave because she took a shower before the flooding. I tell her that I need to sit under the AC for like 10 minutes and then I’ll get dressed and we can leave. I’m texting Kris (my landlord) explaining about how there’s no water and he wants me to go back up and test the pump and I’m like “Man, I cannot do that. I’ve got to cool down and I’m late for work.” So we agree to do it later when I get home. He wants to try and diagnose the problem before he sends a plumber out. Fine, so I turn on the AC and lay on my bed. As if on cue, 30 seconds later, the power goes off. I am verging on insanity…the screaming ensues once more and I praying and yelling that I can’t do this anymore!!! Five minutes later, it kicks back on, I get dressed and we head to work.  As I text him about the power going out, he kindly says, “You’re a trooper!” and then jokes, “Have you ever considered having your life be a reality TV show?” I text him back, “Countless times my friend.” The problem ended up being a broken pipe and was fixed by the end of the day but never was I more ready to leave on my trip than after those back to back days! Next I’ll write about my amazing time in Bali! J It will be a bit more lighthearted ;)

Snake Charming, Boosting India's Economy and Bollywood

After saying a tearful goodbye to my friend at the airport and a near international incidence (security guard not allowing me in the airport to say goodbye...meltdown with a few strong words...not my proudest day in India), I went back to the guesthouse, tried to sleep a little, had some breakfast and arrived back at the airport for a jaunt up to North India with my aunt and cousin still in tow. I kept my head down praying that the security guard had finished up his shift from my rather irrational behavior at 4 am! Luckily I didn't see any signs of him and we made our flight without any issues. We had a 2 hour layover in Mumbai and I was well informed by my expat community that there was a Starbucks right outside the terminal. Oh happy day! It was indeed the truth and after 5 long months, my friend and I were reunited. Oh caramel iced latte, how I needed thee. Especially after a rough sleep and lots of on the go over the last week. We made it into Jaipur in Rajasthan around 8:30 and our hotel had sent a taxi to collect us. We checked in to our very cool hotel, had some dinner on the rooftop and crashed for the night.

The next day we visited a palace and also the famous Amber Fort. We did the tourist things, paid an exorbitant amount of money to ride an elephant to the top, my aunt sat with a snake charmer and watched as he hypnotically lulled a cobra out of a basket and said "no" a thousand times to the gads of salespeople milling around trying to hawk their items to unsuspecting tourists. I swear my aunt had a sign on her forehead that made people immediately make a beeline for her. She was a magnet! I so wish I had video recorded the tons of merchants trying to hound her into buying you name it. I will say, however, they were not wrong about their sixth sense. She certainly invested in the country's finer items and laughs that if "India's economy didn't improve with her visit, she can't be blamed. She did her part!" Many beautiful treasures either left with her or will soon arrive on her doorstep and I'm sure will be passed down to future generations. :)

We quickly formed a friendship with our driver Raj and decided to use him for the rest of our time there in Jaipur. He was very accommodating and knew a good thing when he saw it. I think we genuinely impacted him as he later told my aunt that he'd never seen foreigners show such strong emotion as they parted ways. Which is a nice way to say that we blubbered like "females" as we said our goodbyes. :) After spending the day touring the palaces and forts, we had decided to visit a place called "Choka doni" a well known Indian tourist place recommended to us. It was sort of a cross between a Renaissance Fair and Rawhide experience where you could watch dances, pay to play games, get henna, visit a fortune teller, ride camels that kind of thing. We had a pretty good time wandering around and our entrance fee was supposed to include dinner so we went over to the line around 9pm to let them know we were ready to eat. We happened to be there on a Sunday, which is the worst day to try and do things in India cause everyone is off and goes out so it was really busy. They told us to sit and wait and wait we did...for over an hour. We were hungry and getting perturbed at this point so we decided we would try and just order pizza to be sent to our hotel and try and get our money back. The crowds waiting were literally trying to storm the hostess and force their way inside the dining area. It was getting ugly. So we talked to the management and they refused to give us any money back and amazingly, a table was readily available in the A/C no less. But by this point, it was 10:30, we had already ordered pizza and we were tired and wanted to call it a night. Despite our firm insistence that we should be given half our entrance price back, they didn't budge and we left irritated a bit. I have since learned the valuable lesson that in India, there are absolutely NO REFUNDS!

The next day, we had one of the most memorable days that I've had in India. We visited a tour called Elefantastic, which is a rescue/rehab center for elephants that have been hurt or mistreated in captivity. It was an amazing experience and one I won't soon forget! The tour included transport, one on one time with an elephant which included feeding, painting, washing, and riding and then a nice traditional vegetarian meal. It was well worth the money to do this activity and my cousin and I sort of shared one elephant which was fun. She was rescued from a circus and was mostly blind and also 12 months pregnant! She was the sweetest, most docile creature and we could easily see the baby poking out of her enormous frame and when we pressed on her "stomach" and felt the baby moving, "Chinchil" our elephant leaned into us. It was one of the coolest things I've ever felt and all of you that know me well, know I'm not a huge animal lover. But this was super cool and we spent hours with her, feeding her and painting her all up. The washing part was a blast and like a dream of mine ever since I saw it on Sesame Street as a little girl. lol Then we took a long, leisurely ride through the desert and made some friends with others on the tour. The meal we had was simple and delicious, made by the tour host's mother. We decided to go get some drinks with our new friends at this rooftop bar that someone had recommended. It was a fun night, cool breezes, chatting with people from the UK and Chile, sipping on a local beer as we all shared what a fun experience it had been with the elephants. We were all pretty exhausted at the end of the day and soon went to bed after arriving back to the hotel.

The next day was our day trip to Agra to see the Taj Mahal! It wasn't really on my list of things to do while in India but it worked out nevertheless to see it while we were up north so I went for it. We had booked a tour guide and enjoyed our luxurious 3 hour ride from Jaipur by train. Our guide met us at the station and we hurried off to our destination. Now, it happened to be probably the hottest day we had had so far...about 122 degrees and so that put a little of a damper on our trip as we visited in the middle of the day. We were boiling! We did the tour much faster than if it had been a pleasant day and my aunt lamented that it was the only day she was not able to "well document" with her camera. It was just too bloody hot! We spend the rest of the afternoon indoors visiting shops that made and sold jewelry, carpets, swords, and beautiful artwork with a technique used on the Taj. We probably all spent more money than we intended but being indoors was worth taking extra time to visit the shops. We caught a train back to Jaipur and after a few moments of panic not being able to spot our faithful driver Raj, he finally found us and we made it safely back to our hotel.

The next day was my final day of touring around India with my family and I certainly didn't want it to come to an end. We had done a lot and I was so grateful they took so much time, money and effort to come visit me and I knew it was going to be a very sad goodbye when I returned back to Calicut. They spoiled me rotten with A/C cars and drivers, great meals, wonderful hotels, laughter, great tours, hugs and just plain old fun! We decided our last day to take in a Bollywood film. After a nice lunch, we headed to the theater but on the way I spotted a Dunkin Donuts and insisted on a pit stop. We bought a half dozen to take into the film and I attempted to get one last iced coffee, however, after many instructions and four employees trying to make it happen, I finally gave up and realized they must not get many foreigners at their shop. Oh well...Starbucks had come through. I had asked all my Indian friends to tell me which film to take my family to and they said we needed to see "Tanu Weds Manu Again." Because we had become chums with our driver Raj, we asked him to see it with us and he took up the role as translator and we sort of passed the story line down the row or asked questions a few times. I could tell he liked telling us about the movie and it made it more fun for us knowing a little more of what was going on. No subtitles unfortunately. After our Bollywood experience, it was time for me to go to the airport. We said our tearful goodbyes, I thanked them endlessly for coming and I boarded a plane bound for S. India. A trip that each of us will remember forever and I am very thankful to have shared it with such special people!

Calling all Butter Balls!

I want to finish up the stories about my family coming to visit...I hope that it hasn't been so long that I forget the details! It's been a busy month! We left our Jungle retreat and came down some beautiful switchbacks in order to make it to Calicut. We didn't plan to spend too much time in my city, particularly because there's not that much to see or do and we expected it to be very rainy. But I did however, want them all to meet my friends, see my apt and get a taste of what my daily life is like. We checked in to the guesthouse, where I stayed for my first month in India and had a nice late lunch with my sweet Indian friends that run it. We then decided that we needed a little pampering and since it was rainy this plan worked out well. We decided to visit a salon that my friends and I like here called Waves. I had told my cousin about this glorious treatment they offered called a "hair spa" and my aunt bravely decided she wanted to get her hair colored. I could write a whole other blog story just on that haha!! Let's just say it was amusing for the rest of us and there were a few communication breakdowns! My friend decided she just wanted to get her hair cut. So we all went off in different directions and I felt amazing after my head massage and deep conditioning treatment. Despite the communication barriers, my aunt's hair turned out pretty good (once they decided not to make her a blond!) and my friend's haircut looked amazing with a blown out style that I knew would disintegrate within 30 seconds of going outside in the rain and humidity. My cousin still wanted a manicure so we left her and my aunt to finish up and Urissa and I headed to a local fabric shop where we made the fastest clothing decisions on record, took them to the next little shop down the road to have measurements taken and were back to pick up my family all within an hour before they closed the salon! Whew! The tailoring shop promised to have all four shirts done by the next day at 7pm and although it was more like 10pm, we got them before she had to board her flight. And they turned out super cute! So happy smiles all the way around. You came through India! 

After our pampering, we met some of my friends from the UK and had dinner as a large group with a group of Canadian students that were on their way back after a month in India. It was great food as usual since my friend is an excellent cook and there was great conversation around the table. I was happy that my visitors got to experience the guesthouse and they will definitely say that it was the best food we had the whole trip! We played a few cards games and all went to bed. The next day, we met my boss at a coffee shop and chatted for awhile with him, then I took everyone to see where I worked and meet a few of the staff that were around. Unfortunately my students were all on a break so they were not able to help me with any classes like we had originally planned. It was a hot day and we wanted to go somewhere nice for lunch. However, the place I wanted to take them was not open yet for food, so we basically begged them to let us eat some cake and then we used that lunch time to do some last minute shopping. I took them to one of my favorite stores in the city and we all did some damage to our wallets and then my friend picked us up for our ayurvedic massages (which was another cultural experience included in our tour). I had heard some interesting rumors about the massages and was anxious to experience it myself to see what it was all about. It's a traditional form of medicine done here in Kerala and many people do treatments for up to a month where they daily have these massages done. Well, it was unlike anything I've ever done before LOL! Here's the breakdown of what happened. 

First of all, each of us had to meet with a homeopathic doctor first for a consult where he proceeded to take our pulse and then insult us about our health. His number one message for all of us was eat more vegetables and stop taking meds! Then they ushered my friend and I upstairs to go first. We were brought into separate rooms and as I walked in, there was a bathroom to one side and then a standing wooden curtain separate-r thing that was between the door and this long giant wooden slab. A bit like the stone tablet if you're familiar with the Chronicles of Narnia! They took me into the bathroom and said to change clothes. Now I was not sure what level of undress what appropriate so I did what I was used to back home for massages and that seemed to be the right call. Stripped except for my undies. Well, walking from the bathroom to the table was a bit vulnerable since there was nothing to cover me, the room was bright, with windows wide open, and there were two old Indian ladies watching me approach. Unlike U.S massages, there was no blanket to cover me and they asked me to start face up. Oh dear, here we go I thought. Now I am not one to really get embarrassed over a lack of clothing having experienced public baths and such in other Asian cultures. But when these two women each grabbed an arm and started rubbing me down starting with the tips of my fingers, going up the shoulders and then down my entire chest to my stomach, I had a moment. I could not stop laughing! Never had I been touched in such a way by complete strangers lol. I very maturely continued to have fits of giggles continually through the experience as they eventually flipped me on my back and by this point, I was so covered in oil, that I basically gripped the top edge of the table and hung on for dear life as I slid precariously close to the edge. It cannot have been a flattering sight to jiggle back and forth naked as though I was on some sort of weird slip and slide! There was not much point to wearing the underwear as they hiked it up giving us all the biggest wedgies possible and then pulled it down as they massaged our ass! Not sure this clinic has ever seen such white rear ends in all their lives and I hope they recover! Although there were a few parts, especially the legs, that were quite relaxing, overall I think this is an experience I don't soon wish to repeat. When the madness was finally finished, they carefully assisted me to the bathroom and showed me the buckets and soap to clean off. I spent a good chunk of time trying to get all that oil off and when I finally emerged and saw Urissa in the waiting room, I said, "How'd it go?" and we both started laughing uncontrollably. 

The four of us traded stories about our experience and were pretty much dying laughing the rest of the day. It was a cultural experience none of us will soon forget! After making a quick run to the guesthouse to get some things, we went to my apartment next and I re-packed my stuff while some took showers and my cousin opened up a bottle of wine. Minor problem with the wine since we couldn't track down a bottle opener and pushing the cork through ended up with an explosion but one more thing to add to the adventure right? After we finally got all that cleaned up and I was done packing, I came out of my room and saw that my table had been transformed into a birthday celebration. I was stunned as Urissa explained that she had brought me cards from friends all over the globe to have for my birthday. She wanted me to be able to open one a day until my birthday in July and not only did that happen, but I received such a bounty of letters that I basically had two a day and about 10 to read on my actual birthday. Wow, was I shocked and totally overwhelmed at the outpouring of love! So after a couple tears, toasts and photos, we headed off to meet a friend for dinner and had a great night telling stories about all our escapades around India. I did not want it to come to an end but sadly I had to say goodbye to my amazing friend and we stayed up practically all night talking and fell asleep for like an hour and went to the airport around 4 am. My aunt and cousin stayed for another week and I'll share more on our trip to N. India in the next installment :)