Feeling A Bit More Successful

Other than heat rash from the constant sweat, I can say that I came of this last week unscathed! I cannot even begin to express how much it has helped to feel even slightly more independent and able to do a few things on my own.

Here are a few things I accomplished this week on my own (or very close)!

1. Moved into a new place (temporary but wonderful)
2. Managed to buy a bunch of needed household supplies and groceries
3. Directed an auto driver to my new residence with only one trial run
4. Managed to figure out a 4-way skype call to talk about my family and friend's travel to India! Yay!!
5. Recharged my internet stick, my data plan and call time on my phone at a small little electronic shop
6. Found an English speaking (sort of) auto driver that I can call if I know in advance where I need to go
7. Taught every English class without power outages
8. Did my first load of laundry in an Indian style washing machine
9. Attempted to make my first cup of chai tea (will need to continue working on this)
10. Got a bank account!

Other things that blessed me or made me laugh this week

1. My friend Barb feeding me leftovers at her house because I didn't have a gas tank for my stove yet
2. My other friends taking me out to dinner with them after a get together Sunday night
3. When my favorite coffee shop was closed, the auto driver saw my predicament and instead of driving off, he asked me where I wanted to go and then took me to a local "hotel" for dosha breakfast
4. My apartment manager and security guard bringing me a gas tank and also a new hose for my water purifier
5. Having a delicious lunch with a co-worker at school who has befriended me
6. Being able to watch the Oscars at my apartment! A day late but who cares??!
7. Prayer time on Wednesday with wonderful women
8. Spending an hour with a new friend walking along the beach (and we were completely left alone!)
9. Having a Korean meal made for me at the same friend's house (HOW AWESOME!)
10. Having an unexpected day off this week in which I got to help my friend set up some staging for a promotional video for her school
11. Relatively good sleep each night
12. Being asked by one of my classes to take selfies with them
13. My security guard and manager riding past me on the street on a scooter saying "hello" as they came down the hill
14. Getting my first piece of mail from home! Thanks Amy!!!
15. Taking a walk to a little market close by my apt and buying all the veggies I needed for my meal for like 30 cents!
16. Having 2 kilograms of boneless chicken breast delivered to my door (stocked up for awhile!)
17. Reading my students dialogue they created for our lesson on "small talk" Some were hilarious
18. Watching my Medical Director (the head of the whole college and hospital) and four other coworkers attempt to order and eat a Subway sandwich...I'm pretty sure they each used every single available sauce and they were a hot mess haha
19. The view out of my apartment when the sun comes up
20. Praising God that my friend's car didn't run out of gas when he took me home after babysitting for their kids (all the petrol stations were closed for the night and there was a high chance of getting stranded!)

Oh India...you break us down and then build us back up! Endurance :) Until the next anecdote...

I Just Wanted A Burger

As there are daily stresses living in a country where you don't speak the language or understand why something is done the way it is, here is a humorous story that was not quite so humorous at the time but I can now tell it with gusto.

It was the end of my day at school this past Thursday and I had been told about this great place near the beach that I could get a hamburger. Not a chicken burger substitute that's covered in masala spices but a real beef patty from an actual cow. I didn't have a ton of time because I needed to go home and pack my stuff for my move to a new apt but I thought I could spare an hour and check out this restaurant.

So off I went in my auto, the driver not knowing where exactly I wanted to go but as he stopped a few times to ask other drivers the name of the restaurant or "hotel" as they are called here, I was fairly confident we would find it. I had seen it once and remembered that the outside of the building was blue. After a few minutes, when he almost passed it up, I strained my head of the the side of the auto and told him to stop because I'd spotted a flash of blue. It was indeed the place and I thanked him and felt elated that I was going to be eating a hamburger for lunch.

I walk in, all eyes on me, especially because I tripped over the rug at the entrance and was trying to save face like that was what I had intended and quickly found the one open table in the very middle of the restaurant (super) and quickly put my things down and went to the "handwashing station" that accompanies any eating establishment. There are almost never paper towels and hardly ever any soap but it is sinful to not stop at the sink and at least rinse your hands. Side note: I carry sanitizer everywhere I go.

I take in the menu and am delighted to see not only a hamburger but several other western choices. I think, I'll be back for sure. I order my green tea without sugar and my gourmet hamburger with cheese. The tea comes shortly and of course it is not a green tea like I thought but a green, watery substance with tons of lime and mint. I don't care...I will drink it. While I was waiting, I was texting with my friend and at first that helped pass the time, but after 30 minutes and no burger, I was ready to gnaw on my arm. I"m thinking, so did you guys have to kill the cow first or what? I look behind me where there are at least 8 employees standing around doing nothing and I call one over and ask, "The food? coming now?" He non-committed-ly gives me the Indian head shake and I think it must be coming soon. Well another 5 minutes passes and no food. So then probably the one employee that lost a bet about who will talk to the foreigner comes over to me and says, "There is some problem with the burger. Can you change to chicken burger?" My heart sinks and he must have seen my expression. I tell him, "I can't. I have to go now." He apologizes and says he will put my drink in a "take-away" cup and then brings me a slice of some cake. I'm thinking, "Hello! I just told you I have to leave and you give me a plate and cake?" I appreciated the gesture but needed to have him pack that up as well. I feel so defeated because I really didn't have time to wait while they tried to make me a chicken burger...who knows how much longer that would have taken? And I was still so incredibly hungry since it was 2:30 at this point.

I stand and ask for the bill for the drink and another guy comes up and asks for my address. I'm thinking...what? You gonna send me a coupon in the mail for next time or what? He explains in broken English that they will make the burger and drive it over to me. I'm thinking, how in the heck was there a problem with the burger but somehow you'll miraculously be able to make it in the next 20 minutes to deliver it to my house?!?!

I give him my host father's phone number, explain that he speaks Malayalam and set off to find a new auto to take me home. On the way, I call Joy (my host father) to tell him that someone might be calling him about a food delivery. As he answers the phone, he says, "Michelle, you order some food?" I sigh and tell him that no, not really but I will explain it when I get home. I told them that they wanted directions and he says, "I know they already have called."

I get home and I rip into that piece of cake thinking maybe it will hold me off. I decide I'm going to give them about 20 minutes before I eat some leftovers out of the fridge. I go upstairs and start packing only to discover that ants have invaded my suitcase (feel like screaming!) and before I realize it, 45 minutes has passed and I'm so incredibly hungry. So I go downstairs to warm up something and at the same time, my host family is asking me if I can stay an extra two days to help them with a guest and the guest comes downstairs (who is someone that stayed with us a month ago and very sweet) so I'm trying to listen to all of them, warm up some food and be polite and kind to the guest whom I haven't seen in awhile. I'm about on the verge of losing it cause I had already packed up almost all my stuff and my boss was literally supposed to be there by 4:30 to move me to the new place. I kid you not, I take the last bite of my lunch and what do I hear but a motor bike pulling in, with Joy saying, "Michelle, your food has arrived." OMG!

I greet the restaurant guy at the door and he gives me the burger and I'm standing there like, "what are we awkwardly doing waiting" when I realize he is trying to give me the bill. Really??? After all that, now I'm supposed to pay for it!!!! I take my last bit of sanity to tell him to hang on and go upstairs to find my wallet. I give him the money and decide, what the hell? I'm gonna eat the burger and see how it is. Well, overall not that bad but the lettuce was beyond wilted and it was covered in mayonnaise. So overall, it was a hugely disappointing experience. I run back upstairs to call my boss and ask him if we can change my move in date until Saturday and as he is accustomed to last minute changes on an hourly basis, he replies, "Sure no problem," even though he's in the car on the way. Ok, it's been decided, I'll be waiting another 2 days. I politely excuse myself and look at all my packed bags, sit on my bed and promptly cry. I only allow about 5 tears to roll down before I ask God to give me the grace to accept what I cannot change and go about the rest of my day. All that for a burger. Sheesh! 

Honeymoon Is Over- The Art of Relinquishing Control

So now I'm into the real day to day and there's no other way around it but to just be honest. It's hard to live here. I don't know if others that have gone before me have done better than me but I am definitely at the stage of fight in my culture shock experience. Although I've lived overseas before, I'm pretty sure nothing could have really prepared for me the type of every day chaos, frustrations, lack of comforts, and disappointments that I face on a daily basis. I truly don't want this to come across as a giant complaint, because there have been good parts with some wonderful people along the way, but in order to understand the process, I feel I need to share the good, bad and the ugly.

Like for example, the simplest of things that just happened as I tried to write...one slight touch of the cord and I can't get the plug to stay in the wall so that I can keep my computer charged. Not really a big deal but when you encounter these types of small hassles each day on a regular basis, they begin to add up.

My day usually begins with me crawling to the bathroom half asleep, in order to shock my body into waking up with a cold shower. Sometimes there is water, other times there is not. There are few times the water is totally gone but I have definitely learned how to master the 5 minute trickle shower. I then get dressed in my parachute pants and long churidar shirt (in which I have 5 choices that get recycled every week) and barely bother with a brush of mascara, a pair of earrings and figuring out which way I'm pulling my hair up that day. Doing my hair here would be a complete waste of time with the humidity and the amount of regular sweating...waiting impatiently for it to grow out more so that I have a few more options!

I then go downstairs and depending on the time of morning in which I have to leave, I make myself a simple breakfast of maybe an egg and piece of toast and fruit. On the days when I get to leave a little later, (Thurs and Fri) my sweet host mother makes me something for breakfast, usually a more typical Indian fare with curry, some sort of bread like "apum" or "dosha" or a tortilla-like bread called "chapatti" and she will typically make me an egg since she knows I love them. Then I head back upstairs and finish the last minute preparations for school, load my bag, a light layer of lipstick, brush my teeth and feel the sweat begin to bead on my forehead. I leave my house shoes at the door, put on my sandals (which at this point are all brown, no matter what color they started as) and either walk to catch the shuttle van or I walk to find an auto rickshaw (just called an auto here). If I take the shuttle, (Mon and Wed) then I ride in a nice air conditioned van almost 2 hours to one campus, over bumpy streets filled with cars, bikes, motor bikes, buses, autos and people milling around. Unfortunately this road is very curvy and there are a ton of sudden stops, therefore, I usually end up getting carsick. We get out of the van around 9:00 to have breakfast (despite the fact that my first class begins at 9) and each day I am treated to dosha with curry and a small hot coffee. (if I'm not too sick)

I usually ride with a group of  2 to 3 others, which are all doctors at the eye hospital or instructors at the school. One doctor has a knack for asking me the most interesting questions and I'm always impressed at his ability to never run out of things to say. I try my best to stay engaged although most everyone knows that mornings are not my happy time! But I like him and we have good conversations. Everyone else pretty much zones out, listening to music, sleeping etc. When we arrive at school, there so many people to greet along the way to my office. I'm trying to learn some names but it's just so many people that I don't spend any genuine time with...so it's a struggle. But I smile and say good morning and head upstairs. I usually have about 3-4 one hour classes to teach and in between I talk with other staff, chat with students in the hallway, prepare lessons or read a book. It depends on if the internet happens to be working. If it is, then I try to get something productive done. There's no wifi at the school and I use an internet stick that plugs into the USB drive and most of the time it works. But it has to be recharged and I never know when it might run out of juice.

Because all of the computers that are used in the classrooms have malware and viruses, here are the steps in which I have to take to complete my classes each day. I first do my lesson on my own computer (using powerpoint), then I email them to my boss's email account. When I get to school, I open the email, save them to a folder on the desktop and then transfer them to a flashdrive that I only use for work purposes and then can head to class. After each class, I've acquired a virus so I take it back to the main computer, wipe the flashdrive clean by emptying all of the documents, then re-save them from the folder on the desktop and then head to the next class. It can be infuriating. I have asked each class to please make sure the computer and projector are ready prior to me coming into the room so that we can start right away..but this has yet to happen in two weeks. For the most part, I really enjoy the students and they comprehend almost every thing I say. They have had many English lessons but lack confidence in speaking. However, the classrooms are stifling and there are always odors of various sorts. I was very sensitive at first and still struggle but can tell that it's getting a little better each day. I feel like I drink water all day, however, never have to go to the bathroom. I'm constantly dehydrated from the heat and the large quantities of salt that compose of Indian diets. But I'm more or less grateful for that, since going to the bathroom is an unpleasant experience which I'll have to cover in another story.

There's never a set time when the shuttle will take me back to Calicut and there have been times I thought I would lose my mind waiting on doctors to finish. We've left as late as 7 at night. And on the way, there are typically stops that must be made at the mosque for them to pray. The only saving grace is that usually Thurs and Friday are shorter days for me.

When I stay in Calicut, I never know how long it might take to track down an auto to bring me to work. I have so little control over anything. I eat when other people say it's time to eat, I teach when people tell me it's time to teach, and I hope for the best that a driver will take me to my destination. Sometimes, they pretend they know what I've said and then stop and ask other drivers along the way, sometimes they will take me part of the way but not all of the way, sometimes they will overcharge me for the fare because I'm a westerner and sometimes they will flat out refuse to drive me. But overall, I would say that most auto drivers are helpful and kind. They try to speak English and I've heard that they are way more honest here than most northern cities. For that, I am grateful.

Often I fight the ants out of my belongings and everything must be kept in airtight containers or else, you're screwed and the mosquitoes love to eat my ankles and attack my face (usually the only parts of my body that shows), and I wake up every day at 5:30 or 6 to the sound of birds squawking outside my window...like the loudest birds you've ever heard! (My friends have even heard them when we've skyped!) I feel super accomplished when I can get one thing done on my own, like go the store or successfully navigate a place by auto and have to constantly remind myself that it will get easier and that I am here for a purpose. I pray for those I encounter and constantly ask God for help in relinquishing my comforts and any control I think I might have. I hope that I'm cut out for this and I do worry about failing. I know there have been mistakes I've made and probably have offended many, but I'm trying my very best. After a rough week last week, God completely provided a piece of heaven when my friend and I found a place to get a pedicure. It was wonderful and couldn't believe how much it boosted my morale. We joked to each other that we would have paid the 600 rupees just to lie down in the comfortable chair in the A/C. Forget the pedicure...we were perfectly content with those two things. But we were given above and beyond, with a 20 minute massage, clean feet, cute toes and kind women that made us feel so pampered.

One thing that has also been hard is the lack of being able to exercise. I mean, don't get me wrong, I sweat each hour, but I really wish I could go out for a walk somewhere and just blend in, breathe some fresh air and not feel so cooped up all the time. But God also provided an outlet that I've occasionally been able to utilize. My friend takes her kids to the pool every day after school and there is a time for ladies only swimming (which means I can get away with my western style bathing suit) and swimming laps feels soooo nice! I can't go regularly because I'm often still at work, but as is the culture here, plans change day by day, sometimes hour by hour and sometimes I have a chance to join them. I'm sure you are tired of reading by now but it is cathartic for me to write down all that happens on a daily basis. Prayers for continual adjustment are appreciated and I hope that all is well in your lives. I'm incredibly thankful for the ways to keep in touch with those at home and it helps so much! Persevere! Character building! Determination! You've got this! My daily little pep talks :) Until next time

Paparazzi and Personal Space

Getting hounded as a foreigner...I know it's part of the experience but I have to say the aggressiveness that I've seen so far has surprised me just a bit. I received a ton of staring and the whole asking for my picture in other countries I lived in previously, but it's like a whole new level here. If I'm in any public place, people will constantly come up to me and ask for a picture, with themselves, then with their children, then with their brother and then with their parents etc. It's not just a quick one and done type of thing. For example, I was dropped off at the beach for a short time while my boss did an errand and was not left alone pretty much the whole time I was there. The older women begging for money constantly approached me and stayed for uncomfortable amounts of time, touching my arm and pointing to their mouths. To the point where I had to walk away. If I sat down or stood still, I was approached for pictures and questions.

 I've been followed into a mall and had a guy strike up conversation. I knew he really meant no harm in talking to me but he quickly started to talk about subjects that would make a western woman feel uncomfortable. When I told him that it was a little rude to talk about these things in my culture (especially with strangers), he seemed shocked and apologized. It's really just a cultural sensitivity but it's taking a little time to get used to. When I went with some German friends I made at the guesthouse to the more private beach area just to relax and walk around in the evening, I was followed the entire time by a group of high school boys who asked for several pictures and wanted to touch my skin, look at my eye color, crowd in close to me and generally make me feel uncomfortable. And it was strange because I had an Indian friend with me and he didn't think it was strange at all, nor did he try to dissuade them. The Germans were basically by my side as well and they left them alone. I was surprised at how persistent they were even though I was clearly with a group.

Another part of being here is the lack of personal space. We are so accustomed to giving a wide berth of space in stores, waiting in line, sitting on buses, benches, etc and I forgot how this can be totally dismissed. It's funny at times, like when the store clerk hovers over my every move and today I had a guy practically fall asleep on me on the bus. We were seated in a "ladies only" seat on the bus but he had no intention of getting up. There was space for three people, however, he sat right in the middle and sprawled out like he was the King of Gondor! So I'm hugging the left side, trying to keep from touching him as we make a hundred sharp turns and body jolting stops at crazy speeds, and he falls asleep. How a person can sleep on the bus with the turns, slamming brakes and honking horns is a phenomenon in and of itself, but he managed. So he edges closer and closer, his head tilting farther and farther until he's like about an inch away from sleeping on my shoulder. I really thought I was on one of those candid camera videos...I've seen them! And they're hilarious btw...so I did the only thing I could do...a selfie with him! Other passengers were beginning to notice my predicament and they told the ticket conductor and he eventually made him move since there were other women standing and he wasn't supposed to sit there in the first place!

Two women took his place and after another couple of minutes, they somehow thought they were going to squeeze one more in there but never said a word to me and this fourth person basically tried to climb in my lap to move to sit with her friend but I had a bag and she couldn't get over me so she gave up. If they had even motioned what they wanted, I would have moved but they just went for it. Hello! You've got an inch of space and an entire person...you do the math! Reminded me of the hilarious Brian Regan sketch about airplanes...if you do not know this, watch it! You won't be disappointed :)

Other than these minor inconveniences, things are going well. I taught my first class today and it went well. Looking forward to having a schedule and I think I will get along well with the students and staff. So many names to learn...sigh! My boss Siddeeque, is a funny and friendly guy. He reminds me a little of Jess from New Girl, breaking into random song over everyday occurrences, but totally love that. Makes him enjoyable to be around and the best is when he does a stereotypical "Indian" accent. It's hilarious!! Speaking of comedy, he also introduced me to a Canadian Indian comedian named Russell Peters. I've watched only a few clips, but here's one for your enjoyment!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2lEKZR2Ohg